Lose a Fatty

I live on a narrow street with narrow houses built on narrow lots. And each year, one of my neighbors packs every available inch in front of her house with every inflatable Christmas decoration known to man. At first I thought it was a little much — I personally prefer simple white lights and red bows —   but after a decade of Christmases in my neighborhood I actually look forward to seeing what crazy character she adds to her Merry Menagerie each year. She's got two giant snowmen that tower above everything else. Maybe some reindeer? But the best, by far, is Sad Penis Santa. He didn't start out as Sad Penis Santa. When he first joined the Merry Menagerie, he was more like Stripper Santa. At first glance, you thought you were just looking at an inflatable Christmas tree. But then BAM! Santa would come rocketing out of that tree, wearing its top as a hat, like a stripper popping out of a birthday cake. Then he'd fall back into the tree and get ready to do it all over ag