A Holiday Gift From Me to You
A friend recently posted something to social media along the lines of "I'm pretty sure the only thing not branded with Frozen stuff is condoms." Then I took matters into my own hands and wrote some alternative lyrics, should they choose to introduce them.
Do You Want to Wear a Condom?
(words by me, tune from that song from that movie)
Do you want to wear a condom
Do You Want to Wear a Condom?
(words by me, tune from that song from that movie)
Do you want to wear a condom?
Come on let's go and play.
I see you have a rash down there
And I'm aware
It hasn't gone away.
We used to love so freely,
But now we can't.
Is there something that we could try?
Do you want to wear a condom?
A branded Disney Frozen condom?
Nope? Then bye.
So we can bone like we were teens?
I think some role-playing is overdue
I'd like to ravish you
As Elvis or the queen.
It gets a little boring
Lying on my back
Hearing you grunt and groan.
(Grunt groan grunt groan grunt groan grunt groan.)
But you still have to wear a condom --
A branded Disney Frozen condom --
Or bone alone.
Lover, I know you're in there.
People are asking where you've been.
I know you're nervous and I'm anxious too.
This orgy thing's so new.
There's so much skin.
They might all have diseases.
We just don't know.
We can't let them slip it in
Unless they wear a condom --
A branded Disney Frozen condom.
Then we win.
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