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#SlimmerSusieSeptember

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Totally me next summer, with rejoicing ankles. (Photo by Rebeca Gonçalves for Pexels.) I'm having gastric bypass surgery in September. But I want to make something clear. In first grade, one of my classmates sang the "Fat Albert" theme song at me when I came into the room. I'm not having surgery for him. In 2009, someone I love and trusted visited me under the guise of a surprise but really held what I can only call a one-woman fattervention. Our friendship never recovered. I am not having surgery for her. In 2014, a doctor refused to treat my hiatal hernia because I was too fat. "Read weight-loss stories on CNN.com and come back when you've lost 60 lbs.," she told me. I am not having surgery for her. In 2015, my then-gynecologist told me I had to lose weight and yelled at me when I was naked and vulnerable. She berated me and made me cry. I am not having surgery for her. Three years ago, a panhandler in Chicago told me to lose weight

Pandemic Log and Solo Karaoke: 4-29-2020

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Status: Last night's popcorn was a bad idea. But alive! Mood: I'm not as ugly, sad as you. (Not really. I miss all your faces unless you're my ex.) Snacks: There's a piece of cake downstairs with my name on it. This week's theme is apparently angst. Yesterday, I felt pretty low. Today, I actually feel much better (what is with these pandemic mood swings???). I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to be home for quite a while yet, and today I realized I felt better because: I got up at a reasonable time and didn't feel guilty that I rolled out of bed and into my desk chair, which means that I Ate breakfast, ergo I was hungry for lunch at a normal time, so Dinner wasn't a trial, it was necessary and I didn't mind cooking it. Routine, apparently, is the name of the game. So I've got two goals for May and they're to move my expanding body 30 minutes a day, employing my out-of-office message to inform colleagues I'm taki

Pandemic Log and Solo Karaoke: 4-28/29-2020

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Status: Full of popcorn, still kicking Mood: It's 1 a.m. and I'm posting to my blog? What do you think? Snacks: The aforementioned popcorn and ubiquitous cheez crackers. Quick update: Lots of feels this week for lots of reasons. Seven weeks is a long time to be alone. Working in isolation makes me feel like I'm not doing enough or doing everything wrong. Shopping in masks is disorienting and scary. Feeling more isolated and lonely than usual. So here's "Waving Through a Window" from Evan Hanson with my scary hair, glasses and pajamas. I am nothing if not authentically me. Hope someone is waving back at you.

Pandemic Log and Solo Karaoke: 4-20-2020

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Status: I just live in this room now. But indeed, I live! Mood: It's the end of the world as we know it and I'm sort of whatever about it at this point. Snacks: A few cheese crackers and some chickpea chip things that were surprisingly good. I haven't made another cake because I will just start eating it for breakfast. Everyone is doing the best they can to weather this history we're living through (and which, as my sister noted, would be better skipped and read about later). For me, the weekends are so much easier. I save my housework for them. I read. I do projects. This past weekend, I even I stood a safe distance from my sister and chatted with her as she performed the essential task of bringing me eggs from her lovely chickens. (Hello chickens!) I am super lucky to have a job, let alone one that can be done remotely. But it does get lonely. While I used to be bubbly in the sense that I was outgoing, now I'm bubbly in the sense that I'm alone in this b

Pandemic Blog and Solo Karaoke: 4-16-2020

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Status: Dreaming of hammocks and sunny days. Oh, and alive. Yay! Mood: Why can't dishes wash themselves? Snacks: Oooh! I just remembered I have one piece of cake left. Woohoo! Today would have been Spring Carnival at CMU, which is basically the one time each year CMU students have fun. While I was super involved in Carnival my sophomore and junior years, it wasn't until my senior year that I really cut loose and enjoyed myself. At that point, I had about one month left on campus, my GPA was solidly above 3.5 and I assumed no one was going to throw me out or take away my scholarship money. Unlike this weekend, the weather was gorgeous -- in the 80s and sunny. I went to a party! I went to Buggy! We wondered around Oakland and Shadyside like normal people. It was great! So my heart goes out to this year's CMU seniors, in particular, who busted ass for almost four years only to lose their month or so of fun. (Although I feel like the campus culture has changed and ther

Pandemic Log and Solo Karaoke: 4-14-2020

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Status: Sick and tired of cooking dinner. But alive. Mood: Eh. You know, fine, I guess. Snacks: Well, I'm out of oatmeal cream pies now. Maybe that's a blessing. Today I put on a nice shirt and sweater -- after I showered! -- because I'm tired of looking like crap every day. That was my big excitement. Also, I can't figure out how to get my phone where I need it for optimal recording so this video is vertical again. Sigh. Amazon won't ship a tripod until May, because I guess it's not "essential." What do you know, AMAZON? Huh? Anyway, Tuesdays are going to be throwbacks to my youth. Today, "Gloria" by Laura Branigan. I have the album! I loved this song so much when I was like six years old that my grandma and pap also bought me the 45. Yes, the 45. (We weren't allowed to play good records on the upstairs record player, so the 45 allowed me to play it while I did whatever six-year-old Susie did -- probably read and sing and do puz

Pandemic Log and Solo Karaoke: 4-13-2020

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Status: Alive, but my eyes are hot. What does that mean? Mood: I didn't start this fire. Snacks: I still firmly believe that cake for breakfast isn't a snack. Why hello! Welcome back to Susie's Pandemic Log and Solo Karaoke! I took a bit of a long break, didn't I? No post on Friday or all weekend. I was blissfully away from technology (minus my phone) for most of that time and, frankly, felt like reading instead of writing. So that's what I did. I also tried to organize my family into an Easter Zoom call and that, well. That needs some work. We'll get there someday. Finally, I pulled weeds in my yard without my gardening gloves and I look like I was in a knife fight. I've been thinking about my "rang-ed" episode from last Monday's karaoke and I wonder if that was supposed to be "ranged" (in the sense of " to sail or pass along," as my friends at Merriam-Webster define it). But if you listen to the song, it's cle