The Petting Zoo for Broken Hearts

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This post isn't really about horses.

There comes a time in every reject's life when a well-intentioned someone tells them it's time to get back on the proverbial horse. And that makes a lot of sense.

Unless you're terrified of horses.

Maybe once upon a time one kicked you. Or your very own Mr. Ed told you he couldn't bear the idea of spending time with you, that you bothered him. That you just didn't understand the rules and, mymymy, aren't you silly? Maybe the horse you had invested your blood, sweat and tears in decided he wanted to try his luck with a mare half his age. Maybe he just threw you off and left you in the dust, a little sore and a lot worse for wear.

Maybe you have some good reasons for being skittish.

You're not the only one, either. There's an entire world full of people hiding in their houses to avoid the mere idea of even making equine eye contact.

Enter the Petting Zoo for Broken Hearts — a safe place where you can tentatively approach the beast with a sugar cube, testing the waters with one foot on the fence, ready to run. You can reach out a hand and awkwardly pat the horse's nose, muttering some "Nice horsey, good horsey" encouragement while a vigilant sentry within arm's reach waits to whisk you to safety at the first sign of annoyed neighs and bared teeth.

Should the horse begin to paw at the ground in frustration because you wear librarian shoes and favor cardigan sweaters, you can take whatever sugar cubes you have left and get the hell out of there. No one at the Petting Zoo for Broken Hearts will judge you.

In fact, after a horrible horse encounter, the people at the Petting Zoo for Broken Hearts will point you toward a puppy-filled paddock. And you can sit on the ground while they worship you with their unconditional love. You can pet those little furballs and let them lick your face until you're ready to start all over again with another horse. Another sugar cube. Some supervised "nice horsey, good horsey," until you don't need to run away anymore. Until the horse comes trotting over to you with a horsey grin when it sees you, and nuzzles your hand and shakes its mane because you are the most awesome thing this horse has ever seen in all its horsey life.

Librarian shoes and all. 
Nice horsey, good horsey.

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