Ice Dancing Is Sex on Skates
As far back as I can remember, the Winter Olympics* have meant one thing to me: figure skating. Maybe it was the movie "The Cutting Edge" that did it,** or that one dude who did backflips. Nancy and Tonya? I was all over that. I loved Paul Wylie and wanted to have his sit-spinning babies. When we pack up my parent's house this spring, I'm sure I'll find the VHS tapes labeled "BRIAN BOITANO OLYMPICS: DO NOT TAPE OVER."
Clearly I have an addiction.
While I was busy being a figure-skating obsessed tween and teenager, my mother raved about ... ice dancing. BORING. SNOOZEFEST. BOOOO. I had no interest. It just seemed like a bunch of skating around. No jumping. No falling. No gossip and scandal. 16-year-old me was simply not interested.
But 24 years later, I think I know what my mom saw in ice dancing.*** Sex on skates. And I'm not talking about wardrobe malfunctions either. When it's done right, and not by a brother and sister pair, it's HOT. All the twisting and twining. The pining. The desire. The passion. It's a big romance novel on ice.
Last week, I sort of half paid attention to the ice dancing component of the team competition, and I was kind of eh. Same old, same old. But the free program. Holy shit. When Tessa Virtue stood on her partner's thighs and they spun around to the most compelling part of the "Moulin Rouge" soundtrack, I was a goner. Suddenly the world seemed such a perfect place. Suddenly it moved with such a perfect grace.****
And it wasn't just Virtue and Moir either, although I'm certainly a fangirl now. The Italian team danced to the "Life Is Beautiful" soundtrack, and their performance was equal parts heartbreaking and delightful. Each dance packs an incredible emotional punch. It doesn't rely on fancy jumps or dangerous daring-dos. It's technical precision paired with artistry and grace. When done correctly, it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
Don't tell my mom she was on to something, though. Let's just keep this between us.
PS: I was so frustrated, embarrassed and horrified for the ice dancer whose costume broke and whose BOOB was shown all over the world that I put my hands over my eyes and screamed when it happened. But how amazing is it that she finished the program and they're less than two points behind Virtue and Moir, who set a world record for their short-program score?
* I had to look up the capitalization in my AP Style Guide, FYI.
** TOE PICK
*** It makes sense — mom would have been in her early 40s when I was a teenager.
**** Moulin Rouge fans will know.
Clearly I have an addiction.
While I was busy being a figure-skating obsessed tween and teenager, my mother raved about ... ice dancing. BORING. SNOOZEFEST. BOOOO. I had no interest. It just seemed like a bunch of skating around. No jumping. No falling. No gossip and scandal. 16-year-old me was simply not interested.
But 24 years later, I think I know what my mom saw in ice dancing.*** Sex on skates. And I'm not talking about wardrobe malfunctions either. When it's done right, and not by a brother and sister pair, it's HOT. All the twisting and twining. The pining. The desire. The passion. It's a big romance novel on ice.
Last week, I sort of half paid attention to the ice dancing component of the team competition, and I was kind of eh. Same old, same old. But the free program. Holy shit. When Tessa Virtue stood on her partner's thighs and they spun around to the most compelling part of the "Moulin Rouge" soundtrack, I was a goner. Suddenly the world seemed such a perfect place. Suddenly it moved with such a perfect grace.****
And it wasn't just Virtue and Moir either, although I'm certainly a fangirl now. The Italian team danced to the "Life Is Beautiful" soundtrack, and their performance was equal parts heartbreaking and delightful. Each dance packs an incredible emotional punch. It doesn't rely on fancy jumps or dangerous daring-dos. It's technical precision paired with artistry and grace. When done correctly, it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
Don't tell my mom she was on to something, though. Let's just keep this between us.
PS: I was so frustrated, embarrassed and horrified for the ice dancer whose costume broke and whose BOOB was shown all over the world that I put my hands over my eyes and screamed when it happened. But how amazing is it that she finished the program and they're less than two points behind Virtue and Moir, who set a world record for their short-program score?
* I had to look up the capitalization in my AP Style Guide, FYI.
** TOE PICK
*** It makes sense — mom would have been in her early 40s when I was a teenager.
**** Moulin Rouge fans will know.
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