A Sure Sign It's Month's End

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In the Loseafatty world, we get paid once a month. Some months, you get lucky and direct deposit hits around the 28th or 29th -- if the last day of the month is Sunday or Monday, for example, our money hits Friday. Then other months, you fight it out to the bitter end.

March is a bitter end kind of month.

So here are actual signs from my real life that my paycheck hits in about four hours. Keep in mind that I'm a single-income homeowner with student loans, so making one check stretch for all the things ain't easy.

  1. I have $8 in my checking account and $1.50 in cash/coins. This doesn't count change in my VW bug bank, though. I only roll that when things get really bad.
  2. I didn't have anything to take for lunch today, so I had to find the cheapest campus food that would keep me full the longest. Or just not eat. I chose the first option, but it also sort of made me sick, so tonight I'm just sitting around moaning.
  3. I'm out of popcorn. (Gasp!)
  4. I'm out of good beer. (Another gasp!)
  5. I'm out of whiskey. (This is actually tragic.)
  6. Mostly I have a swig of wine somewhere in the fridge and one last can of hard cider.
  7. I'm drinking lots of water. I'm very well-hydrated.
  8. Any kind of unnecessary trips have been scrapped most of the week to save gas.
  9. I'm using my non-dairy creamer for my coffee because my half-and-half is spoiled and I can wait a few more days to buy more.
  10. I check my bank account every few hours to see if I (a) still have my $8 (I do!) and (b) may have been paid early by surprise (I haven't 😞 )
  11. I daydream a lot about being independently wealthy OR being a world-famous novelist/writer of some sort who is paid to sign her name at big events. 
  12. I wonder how pathetic moving home would be.
  13. I wonder how one goes about finding a sugar daddy.
  14. I wonder how people afford children.
  15. I wonder if I'll ever be able to afford a dog.
  16. I think about going to bed early so I won't have to wonder about anything anymore.
  17. In between the wondering and carb-eating, I think about how lucky I am that I own my own house, have a job and have been able to keep this place going (knock on wood) for almost 11 years now. And that I still have $8 in the bank when some folks have nothing.
The end.

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