Shower Before Entering

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The ladies' locker room at the YMCA is practically wall-papered with signs saying "Shower Before Entering Pool!" A few months ago, they had a sign or two, which I promptly ignored. But since they have them all over the place now — wisely placed along the path one traverses to the pool, and then on the door to the pool itself — I started hopping under the water for a quick rinse before I plunge in. 

Today, I was one of two women in the pool NOT wearing a full face of makeup. (There were like eight ladies total.) I had no idea that lipstick and eyeliner played such a huge role in getting a good workout. I've been doing it wrong all along, I guess, pushing hard through the water. Sweating. Challenging myself. I'd probably be way more successful in the water exercise arena if I sauntered into the water done up in foundation, blush, mascara, liner and whatever else constitutes a full face and just sort of floated around a bit. I bet my asshole knee would be all better by now if only I wore some eye shadow as I stood around in the water.

Last week's dopey "What a Lane Line?" Lady approached me in the deep end today and said "Aren't you afraid you're going to go under?" I almost told her that I wasn't wearing foundation and eyeliner — like her — so I didn't need to worry. But instead I just said that I float really well, and that I'm also a good swimmer and have spent a lot of time in the water. 

As I took my unmade face well away from said lady, it hit me: Why was she in the deep end if she's afraid of going under water? She was floating around in a buoyancy belt, but those things aren't substitutes for knowing how to swim. 

I wonder if her eyeliner ate her brain cells. 


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